Here are the rules from the US Embassy for being president of Haiti, or just de facto Prime Minister (maybe you’d like the job?):

  1. Don’t interfere with Haitian business people who are old friends of the American Embassy, no matter what corruption they’re into: customs, ports, energy, protection, banking, etc. They are our old friends.
  2. Understand that you are president, but the business people run Haiti, as they wish, as we wish. We support them, even if they might plausibly have been involved in your death.
  3. You too may steal and let your friends steal. You too may assassinate and let your friends assassinate. Massacre likewise. Please try to do it quietly, but frankly as long as you obey rule 1, we don’t care. We will never stop you. We don’t care if you have millions of dollars from unknown sources stowed away in cash in your house, as Moise reportedly did when he was killed.
  4. If you need gangs to run the country because you’ve destroyed all democratic institutions and all law enforcement through attrition, firings, and corruption, okay. We don’t really care what they do. (however, see rule 9)
  5. Do not worry about the Haitian people. They are long-suffering, philosophical, fatalistic. Resilient! They are proud and uncomplaining and they know how to make a buck a day in a failed economy. They can put up with your neglect. If they die of COVID because you wouldn’t and couldn’t provide vaccinations… Don’t worry. Also: They won’t starve and if they do… we don’t care.
  6. BUT don’t let them leave the country. We’ll help you stop them. If you let them leave, we will send them back.
  7. Never think we respect you or will protect you. We don’t, we won’t — but do what we say or you’re out. You are not independent. You are not the leader of a sovereign nation. Don’t kid yourself.
  8. Remember: Only some Black lives matter. Black American lives.
  9. Thus: Never let the gangs kidnap white Americans. Never.
  10. Never admit that these are our rules for you.

(excerpted from The Nation: